Price and Pracism.

I’M GETTING TIRED OF CHANGING CHARACTERS INTO MINORITIES FOR THE SAKE OF PANDERING. I’M ALLOWED TO FEEL THIS WAY BECAUSE I’M TECHNICARY A MINORITY, SO SUCK IT LACISTS.

Also, it’s impossible to complain about this without sounding like a racist. It’s sort of like talking about anything, really. YOU DON’T AGREE? YOU OBVIOUSLY ARE A RADICAL DISAGREEEEEE-ER. I would not enjoy it if they turned Dr. Strange into a Vietnamese guy. I wouldn’t enjoy it if they turned Black Panther into a Maori. I wouldn’t enjoy it if they turned Jubilee into an Aryan. Granted, most comic book characters are white. You know who is responsible for most of the well known comic book characters? Old white guys. There’s nothing wrong with creating new black, Muslim, Asian, non-Power Girl figured lady or any other combination of stuff that describes people characters. Kamala Khan, Tanya Spears and now this new Johnny Storm guy. Why? Especially the first two. The third one remains to be seen, but more on that in a bit. Ms. Marvel and Power Girl. They don’t really bother me that much because I’ve read (or read about) them enough to know what’s going on. People accepted them as full-on reboots. Like they were basically retconned so that Earth-2 Kara Zor-El/Karen Star or Carol Danvers never existed. I know that those characters still exist, but people are all gaga about how progressive and awesome the comic book world is getting for doing away with their well-known, purty white heroes and replacing them with minorities. So people are really supporting it for the wrong reasons. What more, the people that are supportive and excited don’t really care. I bet of all of the people happy to see Muslim Ms. Marvel or Black Power Girl (lol), maybe 5% of them go out and buy an issue. Blah blah blah money. COMIC BOOKS ARE STILL LESS THAN $5. Support it so much? Maybe you should literally support it. Maybe if I had an inkling that all of these people who love to show their support for things so long as it can be done via a tweet or Facebook update actually cared, and didn’t just like to be seen caring, I wouldn’t be so irritated.

It’s sort of like being a somewhat normal human being and trying to explain something about your computer, phone or mp3 player to someone who owns twenty eight different products that start with a lower-case “i”. OH, or trying to explain how delicious cream mash potatoes and chicken fried steak slathered in a hearty cream gravy are to someone with 1% bodyfat. Or a vegan. A vegan with 1% bodyfat who is a white Buddhist with cornrows, a Ron Swanson mustache, plaid skinny pants, toms and.. uh.. a fixie. Actually, those two people are probably the same guy. Eff that guy.

Anyways, I might have gone off track there a little. The point is, you can’t just change crap like that. Your attempt to bring in a new crowd will often alienate your fans. Again, not because of racism – just because it’s dumb. Really, it’s about changing things people know and love. Think Legolas in The Hobbit. Sure, he’s beautiful – but wrong. If it wasn’t an issue, Superman (or Spiderman, because I like to harass fans of Community) would have been a black guy in the latest movies. Why wasn’t he? Because it’s a weird change. It’s really the same reason why Supes and Spidey are still brunette. It’s why Thor is still a tall, gorgeous blonde. It’s why a lot of people thought I was gay in higschool. It’s why Falcon was STILL A BLACK GUY.

The real problem? People who need to be pandered to. Why? Because they will bitch and moan until someone does it. It’s just like having a restaurant take down a bacon related ad because you’re Muslim. This culture is literally why we can’t have nice things. I’ve never used that sentence seriously. That’s how bad it is – that I can use that sentence seriously.

Now as far as the new Human Torch is concerned; I might not be as upset about that one, but it’s still going to be irritating. He is probably going to be adopted or something. This one is slightly less upsetting because of the track record of these Marvel movies. It’s not the Avengers cinematic universe. They love to change shit because why not. Remember the Last Stand? Not the Schwarzenegger one. The X-Men one we all tried to block out. Yeah. Just remember that. It’s sort of like having a relative who is constantly getting pinched for pilfering, getting arrested for appropriation. You’re disappointed, but also sort of tired of being disappointed, so it’s not as “rawr” as much as it is “ugh”.

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