It really sucks for women. Actually, that’s too feminist. It sucks for mothers. Mothers, mothers to be and those who want to be mothers. It sucks. Racism may be a huge issue in the country right now, but sexism is still pretty freaking awful. What’s worse, is that the sexism we face is almost 100% self-inflicted by the general populous.
Sure, ladies get screwed a lot of ways in the world, but they are also their own worst enemies and that really, really sucks.
First of all, I’m not a lady. Sure, dude looks(ed?) like a lady, but I’m not. Any normal day, I’m just a sort of weird looking guy. But sometimes I go out with my son. Sometimes I go out with him just us boys. What happens when it’s just us boys? I get a hero’s welcome. I, for being a young man who is willing to do stuff with his infant, am treated like Prince Charming doing some grocery shopping among the peasants. Ladies coo and smile and go out of their way to be extra nice and helpful. Men are even extra nice. Not in the same way, but it’s noticeable. Today, I had my hands full at the self checkout counter and this couple of women went out of their way to get me a cart. I wasn’t struggling or having a particularly hard time, but I had my hands full plus baby.
Now, what happens to my wife? She is the villain. She is criticized, glared at, scowled at and just generally treated like crap compared to how I get treated. How dare she have a baby. How dare she do such a thing to herself, she’s so young, there was so much left for her to do. This isn’t to say that there aren’t people who treat her well for being a young mother, but for every 19 out of 20 people who treat me like a king, at least 12 others look at her like she has a swastika on both her and our child’s foreheads. It didn’t even start with my son being out in the world. She started getting this when she started to look obviously pregnant, like they knew we were going to name him Damien, and they thought that the movie was a documentary that applied to all children named Damien.
In this day and age, women have it hard enough with maternity – especially in this country. Granted, it’s not olden times anymore and doing something involving being alive doesn’t automatically come with a +25% chance of death. Regardless, it’s still really hard on the ladies. Pregnancy is not as much fun as they make it look on TV, I learned. Having the actual child is at least as unpleasant, seven times as messy and probably a billion times more traumatic of an experience (at least the first time. Jury is still out on children 2 through 37). They get maternity leave, at least. For.. what? a few weeks? I know that the world has to move on but so far I still have a kid and it has been several months sine he was born. It took at least most of my wife’s maternity leave just for her body to feel sort of normal. Luckily for her, she wasn’t working some stupid cubicle job or 40 hours of standing on her feet, my heart goes out to women who have done that. I’m sure some do it willingly, voluntarily and are perfectly fine. Good for them, I’m sure it’s great. There are also women who the child practically or successfully kills. Maternity leave isn’t really my issue, though. The point is, for some amount of time between 1 and 300 months, life is hard for moms.
The part of this problem that’s the saddest is that women are the enemies of women. It’s not just normal ladies versus mommy ladies, but I think it’s sadder when it is. What is it about the way women are raised/programmed that makes someone in the maternal category an enemy? People in general, too, but this weird ladywrath is.. well, weird.
It’s hard enough to be a girl, woman, lady or whatever. Each one feels the pressure of being associated with that gender, you would think that they would try to lift each other up rather than stab each other in the face with glares.
I think I’m losing my train of thought. Might pick back up later.